Girl Talk::Baggage Claim

>> Wednesday, November 4, 2009

just me

We got bumped off our flight from Minneapolis to Omaha. We were given a stay in a nice hotel and vouchers for food and future flights, and we spent the night in Minnesota. I was without luggage. No curling iron, no toothbrush, no makeup, no change of clothes. Just a comb and a brush in my purse. And lipstick. I expected to find myself in a panic. But I was surprisingly calm.

I think most of us have something that we hide behind. Some baggage that we carry around with us wherever we go. Lately I've been noticing the words we women say to ourselves, about ourselves. I've been guilty of it: Not pretty enough, or thin enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough. Too thin, or too short, or too whatever to matter. And so last month I decided enough was enough. I took an OATH for me: Only Adjectives That Heal/Help. I think that's why I didn't panic when separated from my MAC cosmetics for the night.

That's me up there in the photo. Makeup-less. That night in Minnesota my husband loaned me a pair of gym shorts and a tee shirt and he told me I was beautiful. And I believed him. Because I had believed myself first. Because I had loved myself first. The next morning I boarded the plane wearing the clothes I had worn the day before, with bed head, not a stitch of makeup, and not a care in the world. When we landed in Omaha I claimed my luggage, but I left the baggage behind.

The OATH means using Only Adjectives That Heal/Help. Won't you join me in the OATH? For the next twenty-one days, make a commitment not to let yourself speak badly about yourself. Only good self-talk allowed. Keep these thoughts in mind:

1. If you've been engaged in negative self talk for awhile, if it's become your habit, it might be hard to just stop cold turkey. I know it was for me. So I just started by applying some mother wit to myself: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Start there.
2. The OATH is not about bragging. There is a difference between being a braggart and loving the person God created you to be. Love yourself. Just don't boast or brag.
3. If you slip back into your old habit, just switch gears and start again. Don't beat yourself up. Just move on.
4. Soon you'll find yourself thinking differently about yourself, and that will spill over into your relationships with others. You'll have more grace, more patience, and more love. I don't know how it works or why it works, but it does.

I once read that research has proven it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit. Twenty-one days from today will be Thanksgiving here in the USA, and I can't think of a better way to prepare ourselves for that celebration. During the last week of the challenge, I invite you to write a post about your experience with the OATH, and link up here to my blog. I'll be posting other Girl Talk posts throughout the twenty-one days.

Are you in? Great! Grab the button from my sidebar and post it on your blog, mostly as a reminder to yourself. You can leave your baggage here.

OATH

34 comments:

Chocolate Covered Daydreams November 5, 2009 12:32 AM  

And you are still beautiful, with or without makeup, and perfectly styled hair. I know that women are so much harder on ourselves than men are. We stress over things that can't be helped and we try to change things that really don't need changing. Living here in plastic city, it took me a long time to look in the mirror and like what I saw. The ladies around me saw beauty by how much a person weighed and what designer fashions they wore. I eventually developed a don't care attitude and that's where I've left it.

Frau November 5, 2009 12:47 AM  

I'm IN!! Or at least I'm gonna try my hardest to be IN! I need to loose weight and beat myself up about it constantly. You look very young and beautiful without your MAC! Thank you for always lifting me up with your post. You are my angel.

Holly November 5, 2009 1:30 AM  

Stopping by from Willoughby's

I absolutely LOVE that post and the oath. I am working on things like this every day...I am from L.A. and it is hard to keep things (reality) in perspective sometimes.

I just may post this badge on my blog and take the oath.

Thank you!

Holly @ 504 Main

5thsister November 5, 2009 5:40 AM  

I'm taking the badge and running with it! Thank you, Deidra, for a much needed reflection. I have started wearing much less makeup of late, not worrying too much about hair. If I could only stop obsessing about weight!

This badge will be a constant reminder that God has created us in His own image and he does not create anything that is not beautiful!

Kelly and Kelly November 5, 2009 6:52 AM  

This is great and something I think I could use. I'll be in too.

elvira pajarola November 5, 2009 8:00 AM  

Oh, very "care-ful"; the real meaning of this word.. this nicely written article; Beautiful!
ciao
elvira

Suz November 5, 2009 8:24 AM  

I agree and I have been guilty of this negative talk myself lately. I don't know how to drag the badge to my blog but I have done it in my mind!!

Raoulysgirl November 5, 2009 8:45 AM  

I love this!!!

I'm in!!!

Marilyn from As Good a Day as Any November 5, 2009 8:57 AM  

WONDERFUL pledge and a habit worth developing!

I wouldn't let other people talk about the people I love the same way I allow myself to talk to me. (Hope that makes sense.)

Great post!!!

Ina in Alaska November 5, 2009 9:31 AM  

You look great without makeup. And what a pretty necklace too! Ironically, I posted a comment in Kim's Chit Chat Room about my "fat butt" before I read your blog.... ok, I won't do that again for 21 days, but what should I do about the stye in my eye!!! xoxoxox

Sheryl November 5, 2009 11:03 AM  

I just received a comment on one of my posts to be nicer to myself and that I need to love myself. This morning I had decided to work on just that. Then I read your post....God is truly trying to get through my thick head.

Thank you...I'm in on the challenge and putting the button on my blog.

A Day That is Dessert November 5, 2009 3:08 PM  

You look great without makeup. And I love this post; we all could do better at our self talk.

Willoughby November 5, 2009 6:21 PM  

This is a wonderful idea. I hate to think what I'm passing on to my daughter by talking down about myself. Like you said, it's become a habit. I'll be back to grab a button!

Linda November 5, 2009 7:26 PM  

I think perhaps this is something I should do because I felt sort of uncomfortable as I read it - thinking about saying only positive things about myself.
It will be a bit easier, I think, not to say them than not to think them! Let me ponder this a bit.

You are beautiful!

Graceful November 5, 2009 9:40 PM  

You are beautiful, inside and out. I'm so glad I met you on Jumping Tandem!

Kwana November 5, 2009 9:41 PM  

You look so beautiful in your pic. I can use plenty of good self talk. Thanks for the inspiration.

Raoulysgirl November 5, 2009 9:50 PM  

I love your blog so much that I have an award for you over at mine! Please stop by when you get a chance and pick it up!!

Maria November 5, 2009 9:57 PM  

Hi Deidra!
I love a philosophy about self-perceptions that I recently read...That our goal is to think of ourselves as 'formless' truly spirit...
Somewhat similar to what C.S. Lewis once wrote:
"You don't have a soul. You ARE a soul. You have a body."

love that!
Love your thoughts ~~~
~a happy weekend to you~
Maria

Lee the Hot Flash Queen November 5, 2009 10:47 PM  

Stopping over from Who Has the Thyme? I love your blog!! I am going to post your button, and try it! Can't make any promises...I'm a hot flash queen...so ya know...we'll see...but I'll try.

Joyce November 6, 2009 8:26 AM  

Oh my stars you are beautiful with or without makeup. There is something to be said with your post today. The "son" for sure is shining from within my friend.

A wonderful post (as always) today. Is it OK to confess here? I'm so much better being the cheerleader than the player. I'll give it my best, but I can't make promise. Smile... I find it hard at times the confidence I pass onto to others to use on me. Strange, huh?

Again thanks for the post. Do you know how much sunshine you bring to others?
Have a golden weekend!xoxo

sherry ♥ lee November 6, 2009 9:28 AM  

Now you are talking!! This is what I'm talkin' about!! YES!! I'm grabbing this button and I'm IN!!! Deidra, you are so beautiful...this photograph proves it. And you are beautiful inside which shines through.

Only healing/positive adjectives it is!!! xoxoxoxox ♥

HeartsMakeFamilies November 6, 2009 2:29 PM  

You are absolutely beautiful. It takes a long time to come to the realization that only good things are good. I love the idea of the oath and will grab the badge and post about it. I will do my level best to uphold the oath.

I'm following you now.

Chicago Mom November 6, 2009 2:45 PM  

You are beautiful! And I LOVE your necklace! I'm a new follower, I found you through Willoughby and Thyme. I'm taking that Oath! After 6 years of not losing the baby weight that never disappeared, I am DONE worrying about it.

Holly November 6, 2009 3:33 PM  

I am back...I am convinced...adding the oath badge to my blog and becoming a follower..it falls right into what I am trying to do.

Holly @ 504 Main

Belinda November 7, 2009 10:32 AM  

Me too! After a week in the hospital in June, when a steady stream of friends saw me in a hospital robe and in no state to apply makeup, I realized that I can survive without it (if I have to)--and furthermore it didn't matter to my friends or family.

Joanna Jenkins November 7, 2009 10:39 PM  

What a fabulous idea!!!! I try to "check my baggage" but it's not always easy. Thanks for the reminder. This is a wonderful post.

xo

Tracie November 7, 2009 10:39 PM  

I'm in!!! What a great idea!

Also, I left you something on my blog :)

Weezer November 8, 2009 1:10 AM  

I found this beautiful pledge just hours after completing a Bible study at church about depression and anxiety, where I rediscovered that my own attitude contributed so much to my overall state of mind. I took an oath with my group to stop the negativity in thinking and that everything bad in my life isn't my fault. Finding the new oath reinforces what I've pledged already.
You are a beautiful person.
Thanks for your contribution to Bloggers with unnecessary baggage.

Angelia Sims November 8, 2009 10:48 AM  

I loved your story on the baggage. Amazing what our "things" can do or not in terms of self-care that is inside and out.

Truly beautiful words!


I am normally pretty careful to speak kindly but I falter especially when it comes to comparing myself to the boyfriend's ex wife.

I will add the badge and take the challenge to ALWAYS be kind, Thank you!

And thanks to Weezer for directing me to this wonderful pledge!

chigozie November 10, 2009 7:17 AM  

thanks for your post,,, visit my site is wealth made easy.. and exchange link with me.. and also me..
wishing all bloggers millions made easy.. visit my site grab easy wealth information

Pink Martini November 12, 2009 2:27 AM  

Just found your blog. I'm 'in' for the oath. Also, congratulations to your son and your family. I'm a collegiate empty nester myself and am slowly getting used to it. Looking forward to your postings. :)

Prairie Girl Studio November 13, 2009 8:21 PM  

POSITIVELY IN!
you know, as humans, we need these little reminders to help us along the way ... thank you so much for this gift!
i can't remember if i have mentioned this before, but about 11 or 12 years ago my friend and i embarked on the 'simple abundance' journey which was a blessing that held many thoughts to ponder and instill into our daily lives ... tools to help us embrace the path god set out for us ...
thanks again, deidra ~ beautiful in every way!
prairiegirl xo

~Leslie December 8, 2009 6:11 PM  

I'm later than most...but am taking
The Oath!

Thank you for your words and beautiful photo! ;-)

Rana January 10, 2010 11:39 AM  

I'm stopping by from Leslie's blog and I have to say this is a great post. I love this. I want to take this OATH!

  © Blogger templates Sunset by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP